Laughing Through the Pain: How My Dead Friend Zoe Balances Grief, Trauma, and Hope"

I’ve had my eye on the PTSD-centric dramedy My Dead Friend Zoe for a while. Some critics I follow caught the movie at its festival premiere last year, and they loved it. They couldn’t wait for more people to see this film, so naturally, I began counting down the days until its wide theatrical release. I bought a ticket for opening weekend as soon as I got the chance, and now that I’ve finally seen the movie, I’m happy to report that it totally lives up to the hype.

My Dead Friend Zoe was directed and co-written by Kyle Hausmann-Stokes, and it stars Sonequa Martin-Green, Natalie Morales, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Morgan Freeman, and Ed Harris. In the film, Merit and Zoe were best friends in the army, and now that they’ve returned home, their friendship is as strong as ever…well, sort of.

Zoe is actually dead, but Merit still sees her everywhere she goes. These visions are a manifestation of the woman’s PTSD, and they prevent her from leading a healthy civilian life. Unfortunately, she refuses to talk to anybody about it, but that begins to change when her grandfather, also a veteran, gets diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Merit becomes the man’s caretaker, and that family connection, along with a budding romance, gives her the strength to finally open up about her struggles.

From that plot synopsis, you might surmise that My Dead Friend Zoe packs quite the emotional punch, and you’d be right. In fact, it hits even harder than the already weighty premise suggests, but I can’t tell you why without spoiling the movie’s ending. This is seriously one of the most hard-hitting films I’ve seen in a while, and that power starts with the stellar characters and the amazing performers who bring them to life.

Let’s go through the main cast one by one. To begin, Morgan Freeman plays the head of Merit’s veterans’ support group, and he’s just as good as you’d expect. This guy seems to play the same character in every movie, but somehow, he makes it work. He just has a velvety smooth, almost hypnotic quality that makes it impossible to look away whenever he’s on screen, and that magnetism is on full display here.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, Ed Harris plays Merit’s grandfather as a cantankerous and stubborn old man who refuses to accept that he can’t live on his own anymore, and while his performance is very different from Freeman’s, it’s just as good. He even brought back memories of my own thick-headed grandfathers, so despite the character’s abrasive demeanor, Harris imbued him with a familiarity that won me over instantly.

Next, we have to talk about Utkarsh Ambudkar. He plays Merit’s love interest, a retirement home manager named Alex, and he’s incredibly charismatic. Ambudkar imbues the character with a charming playfulness that’s an absolute joy to watch, and his interactions with lead star Sonequa Martin-Green are tinged with just enough awkwardness that you totally buy their mutual attraction as well as their nervousness at this new venture.

And speaking of Sonequa Martin-Green, she’s quite possibly the best thing about My Dead Friend Zoe. Everything about this woman, from her speech to her facial expressions, carries the weight of the trauma she’s experienced, so after a while, you can almost feel her pain yourself. On top of that, her chemistry with Natalie Morales, the actress who plays Zoe, is off the charts. You’ll have no trouble believing that these women are best friends, so whenever they’re on screen together, you’ll be sure to get a kick out of their lighthearted banter.

In fact, Zoe’s sarcastic comments to her living friend are the main source of humor in My Dead Friend Zoe. Since she’s not really there, she’s able to say things no living person could ever get away with, and Morales’s delivery is pitch-perfect. To be fair, her one-liners never quite made me laugh out loud, but they almost always elicited a silent chuckle that brought a big smile to my face.

It’s the kind of comedy that perfectly complements the weighty themes without overpowering them, and trust me, this film needs the comic relief. Like I said, My Dead Friend Zoe gets pretty heavy, and while I can’t spill all the beans, I can say that the story deals with universal human experiences we can all relate to.

At its core, this movie is about grief, trauma, and the importance of human connection. Merit is struggling because she lost her best friend, and to cope with the pain, her mind has to recreate that broken connection. What’s more, Merit begins to heal when she starts to let people back into her life, so the message is clear.

Sure, My Dead Friend Zoe plays these themes in a military key, so they’re going to resonate more with veterans and current members of the armed forces, but even those of us who’ve never served can see a bit of ourselves in Merit’s story. Almost everyone has lost someone close to them, and if you haven’t yet, you will at some point. It’s just part of life, and we all need someone to lean on when times get tough.

That’s the basic message of this movie, but like I said before, there’s a bit more to it than that. There’s a twist here that I don’t think anyone will see coming, and it makes My Dead Friend Zoe a poignant call to action on an important issue that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough. I obviously can’t tell you what that issue is, but I can assure you that it’s one we Catholics can and should get behind.

It’s the cherry on top of this amazing cinematic experience, so My Dead Friend Zoe is one of the best films of the year so far. It’s the perfect combination of likable characters, excellent comedy, and weighty themes, so if you’re looking for something that’s just as entertaining as it is meaningful, this is almost certainly the movie for you.